Showing posts with label ScarJo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ScarJo. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Link Catches Us (As We Catch Up)

The Fighter
In Contention Sports Illustrated names The Fighter "the best sports movie of the decade." I guess they're using that 2001-2010 definition. Hate that. I like to end with the 9s.
Low Resolution Speaking of The Fighter. Check out Joe Reid's awesome post "The Art of the Skank"


Cartoons
Milo oh, this is lovely. Toy Story 3 by the numbers. Tons of infographic pleasure... if thinking about how bank accounts of Pixar executives gives you pleasure that is.
The Exploding Kinetoscope FYC: Arguments for the Extermination of the Human Race. (Wow, someone hates Shrek even more than I do!)
EW Inside Movies Anne Hathaway knows her awards history. Texts Jake Gyllenhaal on his first Golden Globe nom. (Even I had forgotten that he wasn't nominated there for Brokeback)
Blog Next Door What the Disney villains teach us.

Mackie & Washington. Yay.
Randomness
Invisible Woman asks you to see Night Catches Us starring Kerry Washington and Anthony Mackie. We plan to, yes we do. Soon.
popbytes Oprah Winfrey must be stopped; Hugh Jackman injured
Salon "Why is Disney hiding the original Tron?"
Little Gold Men the Coen Bros talk to Vanity Fair about True Grit

The Social Network
Remember when everyone was writing about that movie nonstop? It's happening again. Scanners does a comparison with Carlos, another richly layered movie winning critics prizes, and Nick at Nick's Flick Picks has shared ten intriguing thoughts in two parts.The Toronto Film Critics Association just gave it another "best of the year" citation.

Year in Review
Vulture "25 Best Performances That Won't Win Oscars" from Tom Hardy (Inception) to Alexander Siddig (Cairo Time). It's a great list overall but totally spoiled by two little girls, one of whom was genuinely great in another movie this year, so why not make it that one (Yes, Mia Wasikowska's The Kids Are All Right performance is > Alice In Wonderland times 1,000,000)
Twitter "The 10 Most Powerful Tweets of 2010" from Haiti relief to Conan O'Brien half-assed
10 Best and 10 Worst from one of our favorite critics Tim Robey at the Telegraph.



Finally... 
Remember way way back (ok, only two years ago) when I invited you to the wedding of "Boobs & Abs". They've split. Yes, The Green Lantern and The Black Widow are divorcing.  Speaking of Scarlett Johannson, Jon Favreau is leaving the Iron Man franchise. Given that ScarJo's performances feel more listless than ever these last few years, how about Sofia Coppola for Iron Man 3's directors chair. Maybe the fanboys wouldn't appreciate it but at least they'd get some great shots of Black Widow's ass. Plus that f/x related scene in Coppola's Somewhere, with Stephen Dorff interminably stuck in the makeup chair, is one of the best moments in that inside Hollywood movie.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Curio: Film and Thread and Scarlett Johansson Pillows

Alexa from Pop Elegantiarum here with your weekly film craftiness. I've shared items from the glorious threadiverse before, but there are so many wonderful film-inspired embroidery pieces out there that they can't be contained in a single post. Some are simply clever, others downright artful. A selection, for your viewing pleasure.


Moxiedoll specializes in handstitched happiness. Here are her odes to Donnie Darko and Office Space.


Mr X Stitch is the king of contemporary embroidery on the internet, and his Phat Quarter embroidery group on flickr often swaps movie embroideries. Here are some of the results (pictured above)...you can guess the films.

Zachary Newcott, a.k.a. The Awkward Unicorn, made this Memento cross stitch so he could "imagine the confused faces of the people who haven't seen Memento" after spotting it in his bathroom.

MafiosaGrrl is responsible for these sublime Lebowski stitches.


Allison Manch embroidered Some Kind of Wonderful on a vintage hankie.


Finally, if you want to sleep with Scarlett Johansson, you can buy this from Merritt here.
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The Big Lebowski

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Familiar Faces: The Woody Allen Hierarchy.

Woody Allen's newest feature You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger opens today in movie theaters. It's currently confusing me with its Curse of The Jade Scorpion or The Purple Rose of Cairo -like silhouette poster. With this move the marketing department has made me recall both the worst and the best from Woody Allen's filmography simultaneously. It's very schizo... maybe this means the new feature will be right smack dab in the middle, neither essential nor embarrassing?

American Poster (left), a European treatment (right)

Why couldn't they have gone with the European poster treatment? European posters are always better. It's a law of Hollywood's nature.

To celebrate its release -- I haven't had time to see it yet -- I wanted to revamp an old list I started years ago. When Vicky Cristina Barcelona was cast in 2007, numerous media outlets were making ridiculously inaccurate claims about Scarlett Johansson being Woody's third most consistent muse (talk about A list tunnel vision!). Those inaccuracies of reporting died down as soon as Scarlett missed a movie. But this list I found interesting in the creation nonetheless and I hope you will in the reading. I've attempted a comprehensive list of collaborations but there are bound to be a few mistakes -- particularly in the area of tiny character actor roles so do note any omissions should you spot them in the comments.

For this ranking, I'm counting only the feature films he directed (plus his third of New York Stories and his one telefilm Don't Drink the Water). The actors, male and female, who've logged the most time with the prolific writer/director are...

Woody Players ... Quantitatively Speaking

01 26 Times. Woody Allen himself. Well you do have to direct yourself if you're also acting. It's 27 if you count a film he didn't direct but wrote & starred in: Play it Again, Sam.

02
13 Times. Mia Farrow is the queen. Remarkably and horrifically, despite the plentiful acting nominations earned by Woody Allen films, she's still never been nominated for an Oscar.

Keaton in Sleeper, Love and Death, Annie Hall, Interiors, Manhattan,
Radio Days
and Manhattan Murder Mystery

03 7 and 7.5 Times. Diane Keaton is the runner up woman. Her most famous appearance was for her Oscar win as Annie Hall but she returned to the fold rather blissfully as his wife in Manhattan Murder Mystery and proved that the two of them hadn't lost an ounce of their chemistry. One wonders why they haven't tried an eighth time... (or ninth time if you could Play it Again, Sam which Woody did not direct so we gave her a half point there). Fred Melamed, who so recently nailed his supporting role in the Coen Bros' A Serious Man as huggy Sy Ableman, probably looked familiar to you. That's because he's all over the place in the Woody filmography albeit in small roles. And finally, there's Julie Kavner. Her most memorable part was as Woody's co-worker in Hannah and Her Sisters. Yes that's "Marge Simpson" we're talking about.

04 6 Times. Maurice Sonnenberg and Peter Catellotti have roles like "Movie Theater Patron" in Anything Else or "Sound Recordist" in Celebrity. But since they're in six movies each, one assumes they're either spectacular extras or friends with Woody or the casting director.

Stiers in Jade Scorpion; Wiest in Bullets; Shawn in Radio Days

05
5 Times. Dianne Wiest Wiest won both of her very deserved Oscars for Allen pictures (Hannah and Her Sisters & Bullets Over Broadway). If you've ever wondered why actors are so obviously desperate to work with him, consider this: He's guided thespians to 15 nominations with 6 wins among them - one of the best records of all time.) The instantly recognizable Wallace Shawn has also been in a whole handful of Woody film albeit in smaller roles. You may remember him as The Masked Avenger in Radio Days. David Ogden Stiers (of TV's MASH fame) was another regular.

06
4.5 Times. Louise Lasser has appeared in 4 films but she also does voice work in his first film What's Up Tiger Lily (1966) so let's allow for that with this special designation. Same goes for Tony Roberts, who appeared most famously in Annie Hall. His count would be 5 if you allowed for Play it Again, Sam but Woody only wrote that film and didn't direct it, so we'll give him a half credit there.

[clockwise from top left: Lasser in Bananas; Roberts in Annie Hall;
Waterston in September; Judy Davis in Husbands and Wives


07 4 Films.
Judy Davis nearly won an Oscar for Husbands and Wives. Sam Waterston also appears in four films. His most significant role is, if I'm remembering correctly, in September but this was notoriously not a happy film, having been reshot and delayed and not causing much of a stir when it opened despite Woody's semi-popularity at the time.

08 3 Films. Scarlett Johansson has the leading role in three of his films, winning the most mileage from their first outing, Match Point. Alan Alda has also worked three characters in the Woody gallery, most notably in Crimes and Misdemeanors. The following actors have also been in three Woodys: Danny Aiello,
Philip Bosco (a familiar TV face last seen on Damages), Frances Conroy (all of her roles predate the Six Feet Under career peak), Blythe Danner (Gwynnie's mom!) Julie Halston, Annie Joe Edwards and Camille Saviola and Jack Warden.

Theron in Celebrity; Daniels in Purple Rose; Hemingway in Manhattan; Huston
in Manhattan Murder Mystery; Balaban in Deconstructing Harry; Ullman in
Small Time Crooks; Clarkson in Whatever Works

09 2 Films. I'm sure to forget someone here but well over a dozen actors have done double duty including: Bob Balaban, Ewen Bremner (yes, that's "Spud" from Trainspotting), Josh Brolin, Patricia Clarkson, Lynn Cohen, Jeff Daniels (who deserved an Oscar nomination for The Purple Rose of Cairo), Larry David, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Gregg Edelman, director Nora Ephron (only cameos), Stephanie Farrow, Rupert Frazer, Joanna Gleason, Jessica Harper, Mariel Hemingway (Oscar nominated for Manhattan), Anjelica Huston, Erica Leerhsen, Debra Messing, Gretchen Mol, Zak Orth, Michael Rapaport, Deborah Rush, Marian Seldes, Tina Sloan, Charlize Theron, Michael Tucker, Loretta Tupper and Tracey Ullman.

10 1.5 Films. Christopher Evan Welch, pictured left, Vicky Cristina Barcelona's omniscient narrator, actually appears physically in Whatever Works. (He can currently be seen as "Grant Test" on AMC's new series Rubicon.) Great speaking voice, eh?

1 Film. Everyone with a SAG card... or thereabouts. Though when you look at people who made very strong impressions in their sole appearance, you do wonder why there wasn't another film. I'm thinking of Martin Landau (Crimes and Misdemeanors - Oscar nom), Elaine May (Small Time Crooks -NSFC Best Supporting Actress) and Goldie Hawn (Everyone Says I Love You) in particular, who all seemed like natural fits in the Woody-verse. Most of the members of the You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger ensemble are newbies save for Brolin and Bremner making their second films. Midnight in Paris, which recently completed shooting, is entirely Allen virgins but for Kathy Bates who was last seen as a prostitute in his experimental black and white picture Shadows and Fog (1991).

Who do you wish he would work with again?
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Saturday, July 3, 2010

Halfway Mark: Screen Hotties of 2010

I blame the heat and nothing good in theaters but for the holdovers from previous weeks (go see Winter's Bone, I Am Love, Toy Story 3 and I Am Love if you haven't. Uh... I Am Love you're required to see twice, apparently -- Freudian typo!) for this week's Towleroad article. After assessing the Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man announcement I obsess over the Year in Screen Hotties (thus far).


Since Towleroad is all about the Gay the list is men but since I'm an actressexual and since all the best people are at least bi-curious when it comes to the movies, you know I can't ignore the silver screen sirens. I haven't seen all of these movie but here's an incomplete overview of the year thus far.

The Girlie Show

Jan: Portia Doubleday torments Michael Cera (both of him) in Youth in Revolt. Kristen Bell can't pick a man in When in Rome. Can't pick screenplays either. Niche hotness, GMILF Edition: Helen Mirren wants her man crowing like a cock in The Last Station.


Feb: Amanda Seyfried, Our Lady of Annually Increasing Beauty, stars in Dear John. The Wolfman follows Emily Blunt's scent no matter the consequence; Who wouldn't? Uma Thurman turns men, not just man parts, to stone as Medusa in Percy Jackson.

Mar: Double Team Alert! Amanda Seyfried rocks Julianne Moore's world in more ways than one in Chloe. Plus, Dakota Fanning unleashes her scandalous Cherry Bomb whilst Kristen Stewart works a Bad Reputation in The Runaways. Niche hotness, Macrophile/Microphile division: Mia Wasikowska can't pick a dress size in Alice in Wonderland.

April: Erika Alexander is a boho honey in La Mission. Zoë Saldana holds a hot piece in The Losers. Niche hotness, Gothic division: Christina Ricci gets yet paler (c'est possible?!?) as a perpetually nude corpse in After.Life.

May: Ari Graynor's tongue brings ecstasy, albeit in pill form, to Holy Rollers. Scarlett Johansson wears ringlets and leather for Iron Man 2 and may or may not have speaking lines though no one can recall. Naomie Harris handles the first part of sex & drugs & rock and roll with her usual style. Love the 'fro in that first scene. Niche hotness, The Alex Forrest "I'm Not Going to Be Ignored" New Generations Award to Naomi "seduce & destroy" Watts in Mother and Child.


June: Colin Farrell's little mermaid is full grown Polish beauty Alicja Bachleda in Ondine. Please note how many reviews of Winter's Bone describe Jennifer Lawrence's long tresses and full lips in as much loving detail as her performance, even though the movie is about as far from "sexy" as a movie can be. Marisa Tomei is still working the 'dream girl for losers' track in Cyrus. Can you blame the losers? Tilda Swinton is a prized pale gold Russian collectible in I Am Love. Cameron Diaz in primary colors, yellow bridesmaid, red bikini for Knight and Day. Gina Gershon is a whore! (not a dancer) in Love Ranch... the less said about the rest of the movie, the better.

Which actors and actresses grabbed your eyeballs this year?
It doesn't have to be for, uh, performance reasons.
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Monday, June 14, 2010

RCL: Icy Linney, Hottie Mirren, Canadian Ryan

I couldn't sense excitement out there for my weekly random celeb lineup posts but, all the same, I have to commemorate the Tonys one last time since they were practically Golden Globe-esque last night with the TV & Film stars.

<-- Exclusive Unretouched Photo!
Tonyless veteran Laura Linney congratulates newbie ScarJo on her Tony win.
[Apparently Scarlett has never seen Mystic River or The House of Mirth. Ice cold blood puts the rose in those dimpled cheeks. Beware.]

I do want to say though, just as a corrective for what I'm seeing on the web, that The Lovely Laura Linney and Viola Davis don't fit the 'screen stars slumming it inbetween jobs' group situation that Tony voters love but stage aficionados rage against. Viola and Laura are both bonafide stage troupers. They've been doing it for years and if the movie roles ever dried up, it's likely that they'd be perfectly content to hit the boards full time. Linney, by her own admission, prefers it to screens big or small. It's just lucky for us that she can adjust her scale to fit any medium. That's not something just any actor can do. Many have tried but few are as adept at all three as she.

So let's get to dresses...

Best Dressed!

I'm not trying to be cheeky putting the original Wicked stars Kristin Chenoweth & Idina Menzel together in best dressed, I just think they deserve it. Cheno looks great in white and can work a micro dress with the best, even somehow managing non obscene pratfalls in them. Speaking of obscenity: Imagine how much Wicked could charge for tickets if Cheno & Idina were to return however briefly after their post-Wicked fame? Idina, of the less flashy personality, makes up for it with this intricate dress. I hope they took a photo together last night, but I haven't seen it if they did.

Update: They did and here it is (Thanks Emma!)


♪ ♫ It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend... ♪


And let's hear it for two women who have decaying portraits hidden in attics on their estates: Bernadette Peters, 62, who stepped out of some greco-roman sculpture garden complete with curls, and Dame Hotness, 64, in a super flattering dark blue scooped neck gown.

One of the best moments last night was when Mirren shouted out to the people "in the gods". I had somehow never heard this expression before but it's apparently a reference to the balcony (i.e. the cheap seats).

Not So Much


I understand that Jada Pinkett Smith is a relatively fierce woman... but divatude aside, do you really wanna risk comparison to that icy hotness of one Vera Farmiga on Oscar night of all things. It's the same dress in the same color family but chopped in half for a woman who's 7 inches shorter and needs to show leg for the illusion of length. I think Blanchett is auditioning in character as DAZZLER for the next X-Men film. (Yes I made that up. Marvel still has some B list characters left before they get to Alison Blaire.) Sherie Rene Scott seemed to forget that when movie stars are invading your domain you have to pick it up a notch. I mean this is pretty but it's awfully casual when you're celebrating a personal success like Everyday Rapture at an awards show. And finally whenever I look at ScarJo's gown -- which I want desperately to like -- I hear Heidi Klum saying "It looks cheap, no?" Maybe it's the color that's making me think of a glittery dress that some young Vice President of Marketing might wear to her corporate Christmas partay.

You know Cate was all like...

'I have lots of gold but not this kind. Gimme.'

I should note that men were also walking the red carpet last night including 'Canadian Who Lives With Me' and 'That Man That's a Movie Star That I Get To Sleep With Every Night.' It's been nearly 24 hours since the Tonys and I'm still reeling at all the new ways the actresses have found to say "my husband" at awards shows. I only wish we could have heard Helen Mirren's new way of describing Taylor Hackford.

Ricky Martin, who no longer needs any euphemisms, was also present.

Ricky & The Canadian That Lives With Scarlett Johansson

Last night was ... odd.
Helen Mirren, Scarlett Johansson, Cate Blanchett, RYAN REYNOLDS

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Tony Awards Live Blogging 2010

6:49 Hi kids. Tonight is Tony night! The arrivals have been going on NY1 for approximately 45 minutes now but what do you now? Turns out my cable was all messed up so I spent the first 45 on the telephone with Monique trying to fix this damn thing. I was distracted by occasional glimpses of the stars. It's finally back on so I get the GLEE team.


Matthew Morrison, Lea Michelle and Jonathan Groff. Basically here's what happened
  • Matthew Morrison is going to try to make the PBS taping of South Pacific before it closes (he originated the often shirtless Joe Cable role in the revival) but he doesn't know for sure if he'll be able to do it. Translation: I am way too important now. Everyone must cater to my needs.
  • Lea is busy. She's singing "Don't Rain on My Parade" tonight. Didn't she sing that on Glee? She has no return to Broadway planned. Too busy. Translation: Pay me lots for a short run.
  • Jonathan is about to do the revival of Death Match (fun play -- Christopher Reeve played this role in the 80s movie version) and hopes he can bring it to Broadway, too. "If it's any good," he says. No translation required.... so points for honesty.
6:57 Michelle Williams -- not the great actress but the Destiny's Child -- is on screen right now. "Broadway is a new form of expression for me." Translation: "I'm famous enough for stunt casting. Yay!" She's playing Foxy Roxie Hart in Chicago right now. That role is basically The Slut of All Time (sorry Liz). Everyone has played that role. Chicago is currently the 6th longest running show of all time.

7:00 A few minutes ago the legendary Bernadette Peters was on the screen (left) and proclaimed that she has a Mutual Appreciation Society going with Elaine Stritch. Incredibly they are both going to be taking over for Catherine Zeta-Jones and Angela Lansbury in A Little Night Music. Translation: It's going to be impossible to get tickets. They're both pure magic live. The legends are fully earned. Trust me. I've seen both live and would never trade those experiences.

7:18 Marian Seldes = Greatest Acceptance Speech of All Time. And it's not even being broadcast. I hate CBS and the way they treat the Tonys. She just won the lifetime achievement award. Made this expression...


...and then walked away from the podium.

Awesome, amazing, awezing. Amazsome?

Marian hasn't made that many movies but she's a stage legend. The last time I saw her on stage was in Edward Albee's The Play About the Baby which is basically an abstracted version of his own Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf.

While Marian awezed in that show, I would also like to say that David Burtka performed completely starkers. And then Neil Patrick Harris went and snatched him up in the real world. Well, maybe it didn't happen in that order but David Burtka is a beauty, clothed or starkers, is my point and who wouldn't snatch him up? is my second point.

7:31 Memphis and Red are winning lots of tech prizes. Maybe they'll take Musical and Play, tonight? Fela just won Costume Design. American Idiot won lighting design. They are just speeding through these awards. Strangely they are playing CAMELOT's ballad "If Ever I Would Leave You" to celebrate a win for Greenday's "American Idiot" musical. Is there a round table in that show? Or a virtuous knight who gets a lot of royal action?

7:40 Somebody just threw glitter on stage at the Tonys. As if the Tonys needed any encouragement!

7:43 I keep missing things. Live Blogging is hard [/whine]

7:45 I'm always surprised when men thank their wives at the Tonys. I apologize for my reflexive homonormativity.

Now the show proper is being broadcast on CBS

8:02 Wow. They opened with a piano medley which broke into "Blue Suede Shoes" And Sean Hayes can really play the piano. Who knew? Kristin Chenoweth joins him to sing "Say a Little Prayer" and then we get a little Sherie Rene Scott. If I were someone famous, people would say... things ... about my love of blonde divas. I'm insatiable for them.

pint size greatness | regular sized greatness

It's like I'm Alfred Hitchcock only I don't want to visualize them as pretty corpses or terrorize them. Unless you count forcing them into a lifetime servitude of singing, dancing and acting for my entertainment as terrorizing. And you shouldn't. I'm a good grateful fan. Love those two girls.... so... much.

8:10 Green Day is performing. When one of their songs isn't playing I always forget that I like them. I also L-O-V-E that song that Billie Joe Armstrong did with the Go-Gos "Unforgiven". If you don't know that Go-Gos song, you must download it now. It's a beaut. Shoulda been a massive hit.

8:13 Mandatory reaction shots from movie stars: Will Smith, Michael Douglas, Catherine Zeta Jones. We'll get a lot of those tonight.

8:16 Sean Hayes just tongued Kristin Chenoweth. Hee. Kristin is highlarious as usual although her voice was not in great form earlier. Never heard her voice that weak. Maybe Sean Hayes has cooties.

8:19 Brilliant point from The Boyfriend. Look at Sean Hayes... He could play John Edwards "And you know that's a TV Movie waiting to happen." Look at him. You'll see it.

8:20 Katie Holmes is presenting "Film goes by at 24 frames per second..." Like you know that, Katie! If not for the teleprompter...

<--- OhMyGod. Scarlett Johansson is now a Tony Winner (Best Featured Actress, A View From the Bridge). She just called Ryan Reynolds "My Canadian who I live with" That's quite a weird new way to say "Husband."

8:32 Now that commercials are playing I am forced to consider that Scarlett Johansson may one day be a Triple Crowner. She just needs a deglam movie in about 6 years for the Oscar. The Emmy is easiest.

8:36 ----> Eddie Redmayne just won Best Featured Actor (Red). You've seen him getting randy with screen mommy Julianne Moore (Savage Grace) and trying to kill Cate Blanchett (The Golden Age) and now you just saw him win a Tony. And, as In Contention points out, he'll probably be the lead in Steven Spielberg's War Horse (2012). Could Oscar follow Tony?

8:40 Charming performance from La Cage Aux Folles which I've heard is great. "Zaza" targeted Matthew Morrison and Will Smith in the audience. Really really funny bit with being unable to tear herself away from Matthew Morrison but of course Will Smith had to act horrified that "she" sat on his lap. I hate it when Will Smith reminds me about what an ass he was about the kiss in Six Degrees of Separation (1993).


8:51 I totally can't keep up with this show. It's so speedy. Antonio Banderas was on a few minutes ago and he's SO going to have a major career revival: a Broadway starring role (Zorba the Greek revival) and a new Almodóvar role. Score times two.

8:53 They're talking about Next Fall which I think must be closing any second. I really want to see it. That was cute banter. Maybe it'll sell a few more tickets?

8:56 The Lovely Laura Linney is promoting her play Time Stands Still (I went to an evening where she spoke of this, too) which is returning to Broadway in the fall. But do you think she's thinking about ScarJo right now? Like 'Damnit. She won a Tony before me?'

8:57 That was generous. Jon Bon Jovi just did a live feed intro for Memphis from a stadium concert.

9:00 Commercials. Breathe.

9:04 Angela Lansbury. If she wins tonight, I think that's a record.

---> 9:07 Nope. Katie Finneran wins the category Best Featured Actress in a Musical Promises Promises. No record breaker for Lansbury just yet. I hear from everyone that Finneran is amazing. GREAT speech about focusing on what you love. This bit was so cute. 'Kristin Chenoweth lent me her eyelashes.' And she also informs that Angela Lansbury took her out to dinner. Classy.

9:10 Memphis performance "Never let anyone steal your rock n roll" Fun number but I feel like someone has stolen my showtunes tonight. Not that many yet.

9:20 Kristin Chenoweth and Sean Hayes, co-stars in Promises Promises are practically co-hosts tonight. She's SO much better in this setting than she was on the BFCA awards. She's just hilarious collapsing when she hears she wasn't even nominated. I guffawed, dear readers. (That means I literally LOL'ed, youngsters). She may have lent Finneran her eyelashes but she keeps several spares. Obviously. These lashes are extreme.


9: 24 Catherine Zeta-Jones singing "Send in the Clowns". Just sublime. Nobody can write a song like Stephen Sondheim. I love that he gets these huge birthday extravaganzas every few years. People are scared of losing him. Me, too. It's going to be so so sad. But if Luise Rainer can keep on ticking past 100, so can some of these other showbiz troupers. Random! I know that was random... but Send in the Clowns can send you spinning into all sorts of heartrending places.

P.S. I love CZJ as a musical star. I wish she would star in movie musicals all the time.

9:43 Commercials. But first we had a little Tony sponsored tribute to the NYPD from Kerry Washington. I love Kerry quite a lot as you know. But loving actresses is way more fun if Hollywood plays along. They need to give me more Kerry to love.

9:53 Best Actor and Best Actress went to Fences. That'd be Denzel Washington and Viola Davis (yay! Though I'm sad for Laura Linney who always loses both Oscars and Tonys despite being one of the most amazing actors on the planet).

I find it so odd that none of August Wilson's cycle plays have been made into movies. Don't you find that odd? Is there a playwright of similar stature that has never been translated?

Viola wins her second, Denzel wins his first

Viola gives a beautiful speech but part of me couldn't quite fall in love with it because when people talk about God in their acceptance speeches I always think "Does that mean God loves you more than the other nominees?" And in this case. Well... I'm pretty certain that God loves Laura Linney because, I mean, look at all the gifts he gave that woman! Anyway. I love Viola Davis, too. Denzel's speech was annoying. He didn't know the names. Denzel now has two Oscars and a Tony. But he's never going to be a triple crowner because he just doesn't do television. Not since St. Elsewhere.

10:11 SERIOUSLY? Promises Promises, a full on musical, just did a dance number with Sean Hayes sitting at a desk. Lame. This night is bereft of show tunes.

10:15 Sad Face. In Memoriam... the people the theater lost this year. The theater may lose me tonight if I don't get some show tunes. SAVE ME GLEE PEOPLES.

10:18 It happened ages ago but it's already burned into my mind so it's only fair that it's burned into yours, too. Sean Hayes with padding and Sean Hayes as Lil Orphan Annie.


The sun will not come out tomorrow.

10:20 Cate Blanchett and her Need To Be Ubiquitous share the stage to present Best Revival and Best Play. I kid, I kid. Fences wins Best Revival.

<--- EXCLUSIVE: CATE BLANCHETT TO PLAY TILDA SWINTON IN BIOPIC

10:22-10:35 It just occurred to me that I asked a television show to save me from the lack of showtunes at the Tony Awards. Something is amiss. That said, thank God (who loves Viola Davis more than Laura Linney) for Glee! Lea and Matthew perform actual showtunes. YAY.

P.S. I TOTALLY caught Will Smith enjoying Lea Michelle's Barbra Streisand number. Won't he worry that people will think he is... well... you know?

10:43 La Cage Aux Folles won Best Revival and now American Idiot is performing. This show looks fun.

10:47 I am not a fan of Sean Hayes but I think he's doing a really good job tonight. Here's why I know: I keep giggling about things he did minutes before minutes later. It's a hosting job that keeps on giving. That Spider-Man singing "don't rain on my parade" bit was priceless -- especially when he was scared of the spider on his chest after taking the mask off. Ha!

Well, you probably had to be there. But funny it was.

10:57 Someone much less composed than CATHERINE ZETA-JONES has possessed the body of Catherine Zeta-Jones. That was as spastic a reaction as I've ever seen at an awards show and that includes Meryl Streep marathon hug run at the SAGs and Ally Sheedy's freakout at the Indie Spirits twelve years back. CZJ was crazed. She almost did a spinning heehaw jig after hiking up her dress. She'll be calling her agent tonight demanding an HBO telefilm so she can grab that triple crown.

I'm sad for people who aren't movie stars tonight. Especially my Sherie Rene Scott. So much star-f***ing tonight.

11:02 Memphis closes the night with a Best Musical win. God loved Memphis most. Now I depart for the comments section to try to catch up with y'all.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Iron Men

Last week, we prepped for the summer movie season by pondering good times at the multiplex with summer playthings Tony Stark and Carrie Bradshaw (Sold Separately!). Sarah Jessica Parker will make us wait as Carrie is fashionably late; Three more weeks until she flicks her witty tongue, tosses that glorious mane, and buys several more pairs of shoes. Robert Downey Jr's billionaire weapons manufacturer, on the other hand, has already returned. With IRON MAN 2 playing to sold out crowds everywhere there's no more wondering what the summer movie season will look like.

Not that it was ever anything like a secret what Iron Man 2 would offer up. This blockbuster's shiny surface reflects Hollywood's sequel mandate back at us. Their answer is always 'more! more! more!' before anyone has asked a question.


Return and report... Did you like the movie's more more more credo? And how about Mickey Rourke's post-Wrestler turn?
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Sunday, May 2, 2010

By Odin's Link!

Awards Daily yes, everyone is already obsessed with Summer 2012 now that we know Chris Nolan's Batman will return. It's a franchise world we're living in.

So... let's get this over with.


The mighty Thor is coming before the next Batman. In approximately 369 days. And we're thinking about this primarily because the internet is insatiably interested in superheroes and they are thus impossible to ignore. The Almighty Internet has actually declared this photo of Chris Hensworth as Thor be posted from the rainbow bridge of Asgard to the wide streets of Harlem, New York and beyond. Offending blogs and sites shall be struck down.

Dutifully I post though I'm still struggling to care. Whenever I think of Thor I only think of that little girl in Adventures in Babysitting and how weird it was that someone's favorite superhero was Thor!?! And once I'm done thinking about that I can think only of Alexander Skarsgård's magical hammer. Or the Mjöllnir one imagines him to have.

I know I should let it go -- that he didn't get the part -- but even his name reminds one of the home of the Norse gods.

what were we on abou---oh, yes, yes...

LINKS
Coming Soon Esteemed director Bill Condon shares his reasons for taking on The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn and never once mentions money! Liar liar pants on fire ;)
Just Jared Scarjo in DC with her twin brother for the White House correspondents dinner
Guardian Burnt by the Sun 2, the sequel to the foreign film Oscar winner, flops in Russia. Interesting article on the Why of it. Maybe this isn't a sure thing as Russia's Oscar submission?
/Film Hank Azaria as Gargamel for The Smurfs. I have an inexplicable desire for this movie to be good but the odds are most decidedly against it I think
In Contention wonders if Jim Carrey is ok
The Daily Beast on why David O. Russell's political comedy Nailed is still in limbo. I normally find it difficult to enjoy stories about the business side of moviemaking: contracts, insurance, unions escape me. But this is interesting. I like his films so I'm hoping they find a way to finish it.

Randomness! Just because it amuses
Instructables Gummi Bear surgery
situated laundry Johnny Weir vs. Evan Lysacek summarized
MTV Movies "my name is Talky Tina and you better be nice to me" I can't tell you how horrified I was of Talky Tina as a little boy... though I remember her as "Talking" Tina

Stage Craft?
Tony Predictions from Michael Reidel, Just Shows To Go You, while Time Out New York offers up only who *should* be nominated. The big question mark might be how Addams Family fares given the critical drubbing. I'm currently rooting for Everyday Rapture because even though I haven't seen it yet I am in love with Sherie Rene Scott. I have every note of The Last Five Years deeply embedded in my brain and vocal chords. I'm also rooting for Valerie Harper in Looped because I have seen that one and she was great. As is often the case these days there are a ton of big and small movie/tv names who might be in the running including: Denzel Washington, Viola Davis, Daniel Craig, Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Alfred Molina, Christopher Walken, Sam Rockwell, Kristin Chenoweth, etcetera... The Tony nominations are announced on Tuesday.