Cannes Tweets & Treats #3: Ring Bearing, Butt Patting, and Web Brawling

more miscellania from the South of France

On a scale of one to ten, exactly how jealous is director Alejandro González Iñárritu trying to make you with his touchy feely ways?

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Eleven?

He's in Cannes with his Babel follow up Biutiful starring Javier Bardem. Gael García Bernal (also being manhandled above) is not in that forthcoming motion picture but he's a jury president this year. He'll be influential in deciding which director wins the Camera D'Or which is given for first features. (Here's a pic of Gael with his jury.)

<-- Meg Ryan hits the parties & premieres with producer Lawrence Bender

But on to the tweeting. Before you read these you should read this humorous USA Today article that stars many of these critics -- Jeffrey Wells gets a lot of play because he likes to rumble -- in the rarified atmosphere of this world event fest. It's a shame that Wells has to resort to calling IndieWire writers "effete" though when he is usually so talented at creative descriptives like "hot dog eating humans". heh.

@mattnoller "BIUTIFUL sucks, but I'm not gonna punch anyone to get that point across. Weak arms, is the thing."
@ICSFilm Buitiful makes Precious look like a Disney princess movie. Unrelenting misery porn, to be sure, but committed brutal performances by all.
@AwardsDaily "The five hour CARLOS looms. Not sure I can deal."
@Laremy "My festival is a wrap. Final rankings: 1. Another Year 2. Certified Copy 3. The Housemaid"
@ebertchicago "Werner Herzog: 'For me Godard is like intellectual counterfeit money when compared to a good kung-fu film.' "
@benkenisberg "I bet Godard is a fiend for magnet poetry."
@jamesrocchi "I'm less interested in seeing Godard 2010 than finding Godard's 2010 equivalent."
@phillipstribune "At Cannes, you go from the new Godard to writing about Jennifer Hudson in a controversial biopic she hasn't made yet." [link]

Other than the catfights over Biutiful and the Godard business it's Abbas Kiarostami's enigmatic Certified Copy starring Juliette Binoche and William Shimell that seems to be stimulating the most excitable pronouncements since Mike Leigh's new picture hit the croissette.

William Shimell, Abbas Kiarostami, and the divine Juliette Binoche

@benkenisberg "Never thought Kiarostami would be the one to defibrillate the competition. Breathed a huge sigh of relief when the actors got out of the car"
@gemko "Kiarostami's CERTIFIED COPY is the first film I've seen get booed this year. Perhaps not coincidentally, it's the best film so far"
@awardsdaily "The Kiarostami was enjoyable enough - laughs here and there. But surreal - you see what you want to see, as deep as u want it 2 be. I would have loved it twenty years ago. Now it feels a bit like a waste of time, something I am running out of fast."
@guylodge "Juliette Binoche just walked past. Now THAT, as they say, is a star."

Let's end with fashion. Here are four fab foreign ladies we like to look at.

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from left to right: Sandrine Bonnaire (France) I don't think I've seen Bonnaire headlining a movie since the Oscar nominated Est - Ouest (which I recommend if you like epic sweep to your woman-as-survivor dramas) and that was a decade back. She's always good; Do-yeon Jeon (South Korea) who I fell so hard for in Secret Sunshine (still unreleased in the USA). I'm eager to see her Cannes entry The Housemaid... even though people didn't love it; Rossy de Palma (Spain) is blessed with one of cinema's most impossible-to-believe faces; and superstar/jury member Aishwarya Rai (India) is blessed with... everything.

I frequent Zimbio for many of the red carpet photos I use and one of the things I find hilarious about paparazzi coverage is the random insert shots that focus on someone's body parts (look at Meg Ryan's calf!) or hands (jewelry alert!). Aishwarya, for example, is much bejewelled but I'm not sure why this is a big zero-in-on-it detail since she married fellow Bollywood star Abhishek Bachchan three years ago.

Do we really need to focus on a three year old ring when Fan Bingbing is holding her own wedding on the red carpet of the Biutiful premiere?


It's unclear who Bingbing plans on marrying. The world?

'Shut up about this sound effect woman I've never heard of' you say. But I cannot, testy reader. Even actresses with whom I am largely unfamiliar can sometimes bewitch me into transitory super fandom obsessiveness. I shall recover... for all Cannes-induced fevers break on May 23rd.

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