Yes, No, Maybe So: Burlesque

I almost don't have the stamina for this after drooling all over Showgirls (1995) for three or so hours yesterday. But the first trailer for the new musical Burlesque (2010) has arrived and we'll all be comparing the films from now on. Until we're actually watching it at least. Then... who knows? Movie|Line has already memorably mocked the trailer saying

What would happen if Glitter, Showgirls and Nine had a baby — and that baby was raised by Cher and Stanley Tucci’s character from The Devil Wears Prada?

And we can't compete with that. Sometimes you just have to tip your hat.



But we're here for the "Yes, No or Maybe So?" treatment anyway which isn't the same thing as making fun. Are you eager to see it, desperate to avoid or totally on the fence? It's often some mix for me and this is how it breaks down.

Cher in a big starring role insures my ticket purchase. Listen up, I paid for Tea With Mussolini for pete's chaz's sake. I think only 90 people did. I am loyal. From the ebb and flow of this trailer (already disappearing from the web) it looks like she's playing the Velma Kelly or Cristal Connors role only mixed with Mama Morton. It's like she's being the seasoned pro diva but leaving the dirtywork catfighting to minions (like Kristen Bell?). I can totally get behind Cher as wisdom dispenser/diva entrepreneur who delegates her bitchiest moments to others.

Did it have to be Christina Aguilera? Hasn't she been working this burlesque thing for some years now? That big character reveal moment that is supposed to shock everyone where she starts the vocals, preventing the curtain drop? It already feels anti-climactic. Big whoop-dee-doo. Christina can do growly runs. I think this sort of storyline begs for an unknown in the lead or a name that we didn't know could sing like a madwoman. Someone who can shock you with their lion's roar when you assumed they were a pussycat (doll).

On the other hand... the supporting cast looks very fun. We see a lot of reliable ol' Stanley Tucci in Prada mode, Kristen Bell promises great catfight in her blink and you'll miss her kittenish moment, and Alan Cumming, who could outperform most Burlesque divas just by replaying any single moment of his Tony-winning emcee performance from Cabaret , is also glimpsed. How enjoyable the movie is may well rest on how much screen time these supporting players get. Of course it might make me crazy that they're all second fiddle to Xtina but what can you do. Hollywood has never been much of a meritocracy.

You know what to do in the comments. And you'd better do it. Cher is in the (movie) house and she doesn't come around too often. Be ready with a tip for a true show queen.