"And waste all this good coke?"

[Great Moments in Screen Bitchery #949, Demi in St. Elmo's Fire (1985)]

Heh. I am going to be very disappointed if that isn't the title of Demi Moore's forthcoming memoirs. I'm just saying.

Some context for those too young to have seen Demi's 80s breakthrough, released twenty-five years ago on this very day. Joel Schumacher's St. Elmo's Fire is a story about a group of college grads who are struggling through their quarter-century life crises together. Jules (Demi Moore) is the messiest (and most fabulous) of them all. In the middle of the night she calls her most responsible friend in a panic. "I'm with these Arabs and they've been forcing me to do coke all night. I'm not sure because I don't understand much Arabic but I think I heard the word gangbang. You've gotta come and get me!" He rushes to her rescue only to find a tame unthreatening party. She refuses to leave with him and starts making booty calls instead. He tries to reason with her, until she lobs that delicious dismissal his way.

"And waste all this good coke?"

I have loved Demi Moore ever since. Which was not always a wise life choice, but what can you do? We love the actresses we love.


Because I can't quit there -- this movie is so addictive -- a Monday Monologue from the same film.

Uptight Leslie (Ally Sheedy) and Frumpy Wendy (Mare Winningham) have convinced Wild Jules to eat lunch at the soup kitchen where Wendy volunteers. This is not, shall we say, Jules' natural environment. It turns out her girlfriend's have an intervention in mind. They're worried about her obsession with her stepmother and her crazy-making sexual dalliances.


"Moi?" Jules asks, caught off guard. After a quick silent beat with a flash of 'how to navigate this?' worry on her face, Demi unleashes Jule's defensive fabulousity posturing.

Forrester? Come on, he's wonderful.

Forrest is her married boss. But she's got it all figured out.

This is the 80s. Bop him for a few years. Get his job when he gets his hand caught in the vault. Become a legend. Do a Black Mink ad. Get caught in a sex scandal. Retire in massive disgrace. Write a huge best seller and become the fabulous host of my own talk show.

"Well, it was silly of us to worry," Wendy says in disbelief and the kind of snark-free sarcasm only found prior to the late Nineties.

It really is. He's helped me so much. He's come up with so many alternatives for my stepmonster's funeral.

It turns out cremation is just as expensive as the non torch method and if I don't come up with a cheaper solution, I'm going to end up a bag lady...

Of course I'll have alligator bags.

A head toss, the laugh of the self-amused and then a look at the time get me the hell out of here avoidance of the real issues she's just been so flippant about.

And she's outta there... and every time she's outta there the movie deflates a little. Demi's comedic skills are underrated and paired with that famously husky voice and needy screen energy, she turns out to be the perfect match for this charismatic trainwreck.

A parting shot just to underline Jules' trying-too-hard fabulousity -- this is her apartment.

Art Direction by William Sandell / Set Decoration by Robert Gould & Charles Graffeo

Naturally she's wild about her decorator "Gay became very chic in the Seventies!"
*

Streep Nom #11: One True Thing

We're looking at each Meryl Streep Oscar nod and its competitive field.
Previously: 78, 79, 81, 82, 83, 85, 87, 88, 90 and 95

Twenty years after her first nomination for The Deer Hunter (1978) Meryl Streep replaced Bette Davis as runner up to Katharine Hepburn's Oscar throne with her cancer victim in One True Thing. For a very short time period (i.e. twelve months) the three legends had a 10-11-12 Oscar nomination spread. Streep would soon leave both Hepburn and Davis in the dust. But we'll get to her #1 status when it rolls around.

1998 the nominees were

• Cate Blanchett, Elizabeth
• Fernanda Montenegro, Central Station *Nathaniel's vote*
  
• Gwyneth Paltrow, Shakespeare in Love
• Meryl Streep, One True Thing
• Emily Watson, Hilary & Jackie
  

The Blanchett vs. Paltrow contest has arguably been the most discussed in modern Oscar Actress history with the possible exception of Swank vs. Bening (both rounds). People still get hot under their ruffs about this one a full dozen years later.

Other '98 women for context:
Globe nominees that didn't make Oscar's cut were Susan Sarandon (Stepmom), Jane Horrocks (Little Voice), Cameron Diaz (There's Something About Mary), Meg Ryan (You've Got Mail) and Christina Ricci (The Opposite of Sex). Elsewhere in Awardsland, Ally Sheedy (High Art) took Best Actress at the Indie Spirits, besting Alfre Woodard (Down in the Delta). Weirdness: Emma Thompson, an awards staple, couldn't get any traction for a mimicry job (Primary Colors).

Anne Heche & Ellen Degeneres still had tongues wagging --- >

1998 was a double dipper year for Drew Barrymore (The Wedding Singer, Ever After), Sandra Bullock (Practical Magic, Hope Floats) and Anne Heche (Six Days and Seven Nights, Psycho) who was the controversial rage at the time as the first out lesbian* headlining major studio movies.

Major 90s stars like Angela Bassett (How Stella Got Her Groove Back), Holly Hunter (Living Out Loud) and Jennifer Lopez (Out of Sight) came on strong. And Oprah Winfrey (Beloved) didn't generate the awards enthusiasm needed.

Finally, this is the year we met Lindsay Lohan, future hot mess -- and like Heche, also a future faux lesbian! -- in her wonderfully able child star debut in The Parent Trap. It was so wonderfully able, in fact, that I fell hard for her. To emphasize why that is unexpected is to admit that the Hayley Mills film was my BEST-MOVIE-EVER until I was about eight years old. Even thinking of it now in 2010 makes me all teary-eyed with nostalgia.


Nathaniel's List?
He's not so sure. Oscar's roster is Classic Bait: terminal illness, mental disorders, Shakespeare, royalty porn, older person opening their heart to a child (Yes, they have a thing for that, too). How could any of these performances not have been nominated even if they weren't as good as they are? Originally in the now mythic war for the statue between Paltrow & Blanchett I favored Blanchett but my opinion of Paltrow's star making turn has grown considerably over the years. Still, I'm not sure either would make my list. I'm not sure who would make my list. Strangely, given the topic at hand, I barely remember Streep's cancer mom.

Apologies to Watson but she'd probably be the first to go to make room for one of the worst snubs of the decade. I'm talking about Ally Sheedy's devastating photographer/junkie in High Art. I was madly in love with both Hunter and Ricci's smart sexy comic work in '98 so maybe I'd dump a couple more of the Oscar women for them. Who knows? Revisits are in order. But to make a long story short, the LAFCA got it exactly right with their tie; Ally Sheedy and Fernanda Montenegro tower over 1998's actress field.

*Anne "Celestia" Heche's lesbianism was short lived of course. But still. People were all "Oh My God!" -- OMG! wasn't in the vernacular yet -- "They're letting an out lesbian play romantic straight leads in movies! The world is going to end."
*