The Curious Case of Demi Button, the Blood Countess

Cele|Bitchy shared cel phone bikini pics of Demi Moore. Gawker, where I first saw these photos in a clueless* article on John Travolta, suggests that Demi is starring in her own real life adaptation of Benjamin Button.

But I think what we're looking at is a Countess Elizabeth Bálthory situation.This 47 year old superlebrity is obviously bathing in the blood of virgins.

I still haven't had an opportunity to see Julie Delpy's horror/bio/period film version of this tale, The Countess. None of the confusing and rare reports of the other film version (the one supposedly featuring Tilda Swinton) seem to give me much hope that it's actually not an elaborate internet delusion. But obviously this story should be able to resonate in our youth obsessed age where 50 is the new 40 and 40 is the new 30 and every single pitch meeting on the West Coat involves vampires.

Might I suggest an I'm Not There / Palindromes style interpretation where all of Hollywood's most mysteriously ageless women get a crack at the role? Or maybe they should just make an omnibus film I ♥ Bathory with, say, a dozen filmmakers doing shorts on the evil Hungarian royal that picked up the vampiric baton from Vlad the Impaler back in the day -- the day being the 16th century.

Three recent film interpretations:
Stay Alive (2006), The Countess (2009) and Bathory (2008) starring Anna Friel

But which filmmakers could do that fascinating story justice in short film form? I'm going with Martin Scorsese because he's always a bit more unpredictable when he skews girlie (see Age of Innocence or Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore); Jonathan Glazer because he needs to work more and Birth proves that he knows from eery and disorienting psychology; Lynne Ramsay because some of those shots in Morvern Callar were downright spooky and hallucinatory while still seeming so grounded in mundane realities; Baz Luhrmann (Moulin Rouge!) because there are five operas about Báthory and one musical, and I'd love to see how he'd respond to the constraints of a short film.

Obviously I want this supposed 2011 version starring Tilda Swinton and Isabelle Huppert but it sounds way too good to be true. I mean, Tilda and Isabelle?! Simultaneously!??? Get real. You don't even need sets or costumes or other actors. You just need a camera since both of those faces just emanate Unknowable Unfathomable Unboring Psychology.

But play my little game anyway. Which director would you like to see making a short film about the 16th century female alleged serial killer / vampire ? Sound off in the comments. Don't even say Tim Burton. I'm warning you!

*Trust me, if this is truly the "worst kept secret" for decades now, Kelly Preston knows. I love that people pretend otherwise. It's so cute and reverse sexist, Hollywood wives as wide eyed innocents. Hee. ♪ Money... ♪ Money changes everything.