"God of Carnage" The Movie

News this heavy with starry wattage and awarded source material spreads quickly. I'm sure you've heard this morning that Kate Winslet & Matt Dillon will square off with Jodie Foster & Christopher Waltz as the combative couples of Yasmine Reza's hilarious and occasionally disturbing four-hander, God of Carnage. Make that Roman Polanski's God of Carnage, since he's bound to make adjustments in the adaptation. I fear that they'll add characters and scenes and lose the play's intense get-me-outta-here vibe... all in the name of "opening it up" as a movie. But perhaps I worry for nothing. Polanski has shown skill at non-literal claustrophic material in the past. In the play two sets of parents meet up cordially to discuss a school fight between their children and the way it breaks down, everyone basically breaks down. The play is entirely set in the living room of one of the couples and takes place in real time.

James Gandolfini, Hope Davis, Marcia Gay Harden and Jeff Daniels
in Broadway's God of Carnage (2009)

Polanski is a reliable auteur and all four actors are strong but I still have to worry. It's my nature. I'm hoping that everyone involved understands first and foremost that it's a comedy. This type of material could easily fall apart if it loses its satiric edge and embraces the dramatic too willfully. If it does, people will just be like "ugh. these people are so immature. I hate them!" and you know how the public reacts to characters they don't like.

Pray for Jodie to pull this off!

The most intriguing casting choice has to be Jodie Foster, who I assume is taking on the Tony-winning Marcia Gay Harden role. I would haved loved to have seen Harden get this shot on the big screen but they rarely let people transfer... even Oscar winning people who aren't bankable. Anyway, Foster knows from claustrophic environs (Panic Room, Flight Plan, Silence of the Lambs) but she hasn't spent much time honing her comic gifts and this character is, at least in my experience of the play, the fulcrum point. She's full of abundant pretense and holier-than-thou speechifying and she'd be utterly detestable and annoying if she weren't also so funny and so endearingly a complete emotional wreck. It's just a killer role.

I'm glad the two time Oscar winner will be truly challenging herself for the first time in well over a decade but if you rest you rust and I hope she's up to the challenge.
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Yes, No, Maybe So: Green Hornets and Blue Smurfs

Stepping away from the Oscar bait trailers for a moment, let's take a spin on the color wheel. Will you have blue (The Smurfs) or green (The Green Hornet) or will you going to hold out for something red or purple?

Let's apply the Film Experience's trailer treatment Yes, No, Maybe So™ to both starting with The Green Hornet (2011).



Yes It's directed by Michel Gondry who made movies as visually singular as Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and The Science of Sleep and as energetic and fun as Dave Chappelle's Block Party. Plus, Christoph Waltz is the villain and we already know what he can do in that department.
No But... I'm confused. Could this look any more generic? It looks like Stephen Sommers or Mark Steven Johnson directed it, yes? The plot seems to be some weird mishmash of Batman and Kick-Ass instead of a Green Hornet story. Finally that 3D tag at the end just depresses. I have nothing against 3D but it's just starting to feel like a desperate peer pressure crutch at this point, like wearing the same brand name jeans/shoes as everyone else lest the kids at school make fun of you. If you're a gifted stylist like Gondry, do you really want to be aping other people's looks?

Maybe So Perhaps the trailer purposefully looks generic to rope in people who are scared of visual originality (i.e. unfortunately large percentage of moviegoers)? Also, remember when Jay Chou (Kato) was lusting after his hot mom Gong Li in The Curse of The Golden Flower. No? Okay I'm stretching but maybe he'll be good? But then I'm back to no. Because why does Kato still have to be a manservant in 2010? Think about it: Kato has the knowledge, the weapons and mad crime fighting skill. Plus he has to teach the bumbling rich white boy. So why isn't the white boy the sidekick? Please to explain.

And... The Smurfs (2011)



Yes Well, the cast (not featured here but for Neil Patrick Harris) is interesting.
No Jesus! Is that really Tone Loc's "Wild Things" playing underneath the lalalas? This was made in what decade exactly? If this is all they got did they really need to release a teaser already?
Maybe So Live action mixed with animation once produced Who Framed Roger Rabbit and that's a totally classic comedy so maybe...

oh, never mind. NO to the lot of ya.

Are you a yes, no, or maybe so on these two?
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