Dakota Fanning is My Niece*

Last night I had to pick up my niece [uh... DAKOTA FANNING!] from a maximum security prison for drug possession. Inmates were eyeing her lecherously and wolf-whistling. I'm a lousy excuse for a bodyguard being of average height, bad back and zero muscle. So, nervous for her safety, I offered to hide her in my backpack. She transformed into an exact replica of a winnie the pooh stuffed animal (Such an actress!) and that's just where I hid her.

That didn't solve the problem of escaping the prison. There were no exit signs anywhere and seemingly infinite levels. I finally found an elevator made of plastic -- maybe this was the Sir Ian McKellen as Magneto wing? -- and began my escape.

And then I woke up.

Any celebs in your dreams last night?

*Not my real niece. Who would never be arrested for drug possession but IS blond and gorgeous like Dakota so the dream casting isn't terribly far off.
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