25th Anniversary: Cinema's First Viagra Joke

I was recently debating how best to cover older cinema (it's so haphazard) and decided prematurely on a 25|50|75 approach. Hence all these 1985 posts. Now, I'm thinking that's too limited since how many posts in 2010 can you really take which obsess over 1985, 1960 and 1935? I must rethink. Nevertheless in researching the summer months a few weeks, I jotted down today's date as the 25th anniversary of Cocoon (1985).

At the risk of attracting a year's worth of both spam and funny looks in one single post, I felt compelled to commemorate the cinema's first Viagra joke. Literally the only memory I had of Cocoon in 2010 was that a group of old men got boners when they swam with magical aliens.

Don Ameche: You got a boner, too?
Wilford Brimley: Blue Steel. Cat couldn't scratch it.
Hume Cronyn: I thought I was the only one.

I should tell you upfront that I remembered this scene wrong. But my point is that I remembered it. For 25 years. I was horrified that old men were talking about boners back then. I wasn't as mature as I am now whilst typing about boner jokes. No kid today will ever remember a 2010 old man boner joke in 2035. Thanks to viagra those jokes are now a dime a dozen which is undoubtedly cheaper than Viagra.

Come to think of it The Golden Girls were right around this time period, too, weren't they? Why were old people so horny in the 80s? And why were aliens always friendly? Different times.


Why anybody would need magical alien water for uh... upkeep... when Steve Guttenberg has his shirt off for the entire movie is a mystery that can never be solved.

Another mystery that can never be solved: Guttenberg's alien girlfriend prefers to have sex with him without touching him.

"If this is foreplay I'm a dead man"

Yet another 1985 mystery that can never be solved: Don Ameche's Supporting Actor Oscar.

Was there any decade weirder than the 80s?

In just a few months we're getting a true story biographical dramedy about the invention of Viagra called Love and Other Drugs (2010). [tangent: I wonder why we haven't seen any stills or a teaser yet?] Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway are the stars which is totally appropriate because they're essentially cinematic blue pills themselves. Or so I...uh... hear. You should watch them one hour before engaging in... uh... never mind.

Where am I going with this?

Unnhh, well.

Okay, there's this Meryl Streep movie waiting in my mailbox that I wanted to write about and I've lost my mailbox key. You got this post instead and I really can't apologize enough.
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